Relationship Advice How To Get Out And Stay Out Of

Relationship Friendship Compatability Love Advice Information.


Home      
How compatible are you and the person you are with'

What You Absolutely Must Know About the One You Are With!
How compatible are you and the person you are with? How would you know? Just because you like the same types of foods and pets does not mean that you can have a blissful, long-term relationship.

50 secrets of blissful relationships - Power of astrology - The anatomy of an affair - Unhappy relationships - Dating information


Share |


You are free to use content from this page in your blog or website, in return for a link back to this page from that blog or website.



Relationship Advice - How to Get Out and Stay Out of Relationships Ruts


"The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions."

Q: My wife and I are both on our second marriage. We feel like we are both losing some of our excitement and love for each other, just like is our first marriages. We feel like we are stuck in a rut. What can we do to get out of this rut'

A: You've not only asked an excellent question, it's even been asked in song.

In "Make Love Stay" Dan Fogelberg asks,

"Now that we've loved,
Now that the lonely nights are over
How do we make love stay'"

New relationships

New relationships are exciting. The thrill of falling in love and discovering new things about each other is simply a lot of fun.

After the honeymoon stage of a relationship has passed, we move into the "making it work" stage of the relationship. Sometimes the making it work stage is just not as much fun as the honeymoon stage. This is where the work part of making it work comes in.

One of the dangers of the making it work stage is to fall into what I call relationship ruts. A relationship rut is when as a couple you begin to feel as if you are stuck, sort of going through the motions and not getting anywhere.

This is the point that some relationships die, because the only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.

Let's take a look at some of the signs of relationship ruts and what not to do, and then what to do to get out of the rut and keep the spark alive.

Signs of Relationship Ruts

One sure sign and conclusive evidence of a relationship rut is if the following conversation sounds familiar -

"What do want to do tonight'" "I don't know, whatever you want to do." "I don't know what I want to do, whatever you want to do is fine." "Where do you want to eat'" "I don't know, where do you want to eat'" ETC - ETC - ETC - yuck!

Other signs of relationship ruts include;

- Doing the same thing over over again and it not being enjoyable

- Having the same conversation over and over again

- Having that strange sense of "relationship deja vu" - we've been here before.

- Arguing and bickering just for something to do

What Not To Do

We all try to solve the problem of relationship ruts in our own way. Here are some solutions that I've seen couples try that are worth avoiding;

- Keep doing the same things over and over and expect different results

- Blame your partner or accuse them of being boring

- Convince yourself that life would be much more fun with someone else

- Make major changes just for the sake of change. For example, move (just a geographical cure) or have a child.

What To Do

Having said all that, here are a few suggestions for breaking out of relationship ruts;

- Begin by remembering what is was that first attracted you to this person in the first place. You may have forgotten some things and may be surprised by what you remember

- Do something "safely out of character." In the song "Dirt Gets Under The Fingernails" by Harry Chapin, the prim, proper and neat wife goes out and buys art supplies and makes a mess while the always dirty mechanic husband gets a shave, hair cut, manicure and new clothes. Surprise each other.

- Do some of the things you may have enjoyed as a child: buy a coloring book, some play dough, put on some roller skates, etc.

- Use your creativity! One way to do this would be to brainstorm all the crazy, absurd, and ridiculous ideas you can think of, that you would never do. Then go back over your list and see if there are the seeds for some useful creative solutions.

- Make a list of all the things you like to do for fun. Then pick one you that you may not have in a very long time.

As the songwriter says, making love stay can be one of the more difficult tasks in relationships. Avoiding and/or getting out of relationships ruts can go a long way to keeping the spark alive.

For f'ree weekly tips and tools for growing your relationship and keeping it strong, subscribe to Jeff Herring's online newsletter "Great Relationships Tips of the Week" at http://www.SecretsofGreatRelationships.com AND receive a special report on "10 Things to Consider Before Your Next Relationship Argument.


Cat 267


Decoding Gardening Advice NEW by Jeff Gillman
ebay image$16.78
End Date: Friday Feb-24-2012 9:56:53 PST
Buy It Now for only: $16.78
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

How to Stay Married and Love Every Minute of It - Jack Exum (1988)
ebay image$3.49 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:14:14 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.49
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

The Intentional Relationship: Occupational Therapy and Use of Self by Taylor...
ebay image$29.95 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:53:59 PST
Buy It Now for only: $32.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Picturing Men: A Century of Male Relationships in Every
ebay image$30.25
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 16:59:32 PST
Buy It Now for only: $30.25
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Dry Fly Fishing Lore, Tips, Advice, Fly-Tying
ebay image$4.25 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 5:02:49 PST
Buy It Now for only: $5.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW Should I Stay or Should I Go? - Bancroft, Lundy/ Pa
ebay image$9.74
End Date: Wednesday Feb-29-2012 5:35:44 PST
Buy It Now for only: $9.74
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

The Best Advice I Ever Got: Lessons from Extraordinary Lives by Katie Couric...
ebay image$7.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 5:11:40 PST
Buy It Now for only: $8.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Home Improvement 1-2-3: Expert Advice from the Home Depot (1995, Hardcover)
ebay image$1.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 5:44:11 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of U...
ebay image$17.81
End Date: Thursday Feb-23-2012 9:30:33 PST
Buy It Now for only: $17.81
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Relationships: An Open and Honest Guide to Making Bad Relationships Better...
ebay image$1.50 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 5:46:24 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

! FAST 2DAY UPS ! NEW Folks This Aint Normal: A Farmers Advice for Happier Hens
ebay image$16.93
End Date: Saturday Feb-18-2012 10:52:06 PST
Buy It Now for only: $16.93
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

The Conflict Management Handbook (How to Quench the Fires that Burn Relationship
ebay image$20.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 6:22:54 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Access Conciousness: Sex is not a four letter word but relationship often is
ebay image$14.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 6:25:29 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

The Secret Relationship between Blacks and Jews vol 1.
ebay image$25.00
End Date: Thursday Mar-1-2012 9:26:54 PST
Buy It Now for only: $25.00
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

lot of 6 books (relationship/pregnancy, finance, self help)
ebay image$10.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 6:32:15 PST
Buy It Now for only: $15.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

The Story of the Plott Hound: Strike & Stay (NC) (The H
ebay image$15.70
End Date: Friday Mar-2-2012 18:26:00 PST
Buy It Now for only: $15.70
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Baby's First Year by Ari...
ebay image$1.29 (2 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 6:59:43 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Dian Dincin Buchman's Herbal Medicine: The Natural Way to Get Well and Stay...
ebay image$4.75 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 7:14:29 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

The Secret Relationship between Blacks and Jews vol.2
ebay image$25.00
End Date: Saturday Mar-10-2012 19:58:46 PST
Buy It Now for only: $25.00
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Girlfriends Talk About Men: Sharing Secrets for a Great Relationship by...
ebay image$1.97 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 7:38:09 PST
Buy It Now for only: $2.50
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW Advice from a Failure - Jo Coudert 9780595268368
ebay image$18.43
End Date: Monday Feb-27-2012 17:39:06 PST
Buy It Now for only: $18.43
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home And Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Liv...
ebay image$2.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 7:39:28 PST
Buy It Now for only: $2.98
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Managing Differences: How to Build Better Relationships at Work and Home by...
ebay image$3.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 7:48:35 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Get Fit, Stay Well Brief Edition
ebay image$17.69
End Date: Thursday Mar-1-2012 11:28:34 PST
Buy It Now for only: $17.69
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Building Trust in Relationships Hypnosis CD
ebay image$14.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 8:09:38 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

The Meaning of Marriage: Finding Happiness in Your Most Profound Relationship...
ebay image$13.09
End Date: Saturday Feb-18-2012 19:47:17 PST
Buy It Now for only: $13.09
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Better Communication in Relationships Hypnosis CD
ebay image$14.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 8:09:38 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Stay Fit & Healthy Until You're Dead by Dave Barry (2000, Paperback)
ebay image$0.75 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 8:59:31 PST
Buy It Now for only: $1.50
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Intimate Relationships, Marriages, and Families
ebay image$86.95
End Date: Saturday Mar-3-2012 10:14:12 PST
Buy It Now for only: $86.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Family Circle: Hints Tips and Smart Advice (1988)
ebay image$1.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 9:00:47 PST
Buy It Now for only: $2.50
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those ...
ebay image$12.89
End Date: Thursday Feb-23-2012 11:36:55 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.89
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Suzanne Somers Fast and Easy Stay Skinny Quick Simple Meals 100 Diet Recipes
ebay image$0.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 9:11:12 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Seven Habits of Winning Relationships
ebay image$2.06 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 9:27:33 PST
Buy It Now for only: $2.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Study Guide Love Sex And Lasting Relationships by Chip Ingram Paperback
ebay image$7.74
End Date: Saturday Mar-3-2012 17:35:55 PST
Buy It Now for only: $7.74
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

LOT 2 DR. PHIL :The Life Strategies Workbook LIKE NEW+ RELATIONSHIP RESCUE LG SZ
ebay image$1.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 9:46:17 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Home Business Plan

Peel Away Ads Marketing And Advertising without Pop-Ups, Fly-Ins or Pop-Unders
home | Relationships site map | custom google search | Relationships articles | Privacy policy
Copyright © 2009 www.dovada.net.au