Infidelity Excuse I Fell Out Of Love And Just Love

Relationship Friendship Compatability Love Advice Information.


Home      
How compatible are you and the person you are with'

What You Absolutely Must Know About the One You Are With!
How compatible are you and the person you are with? How would you know? Just because you like the same types of foods and pets does not mean that you can have a blissful, long-term relationship.

50 secrets of blissful relationships - Power of astrology - The anatomy of an affair - Unhappy relationships - Dating information


Share |


You are free to use content from this page in your blog or website, in return for a link back to this page from that blog or website.



Infidelity Excuse: I Fell Out of Love... and Just Love Being in Love


I find this dilemma rather common for younger couples, probably mid or late 30s and younger.

Usually one reports, "falling out of love" and is truly disturbed by this shift. He/she (and this is not merely a female problem!) wants to "recapture" those feelings.

This person has found a "significant other" who has stirred those dormant feelings and this person once again "feels in love."

They are determined not to "settle" for a less than an ideal relationship, which means, of course, feeling the love feelings.

Here are some Key Points for this kind of affair. (The 6 others are outlined in my E-book.)

1. Unfortunately, our culture (movies, songs, romance novels, soap operas, romance comedies) teaches us that this is how it's supposed to be. "Falling in love" is the norm ' the implication being, that if it doesn't happen, or if it goes away, something is wrong ' with you, your spouse or the marriage. A good relationship must first unlearn a great deal.

2. The person who was driven to find "that loving feeling" (reminds me of a song') usually experiences a high degree of guilt and conflict. He/she is often married to a "good" person and the desire to "find that loving feeling" seems selfish (which it is) and immature (which it is). Intuitively (and this person usually has a great deal of intuition and sensitivity) it is known at another level that he/she is not on the right path.

3. This person usually has a need for drama and excitement. Life easily becomes a soap opera. Emotional juice from the fall-out of emotionally intense relationships reigns rather than living life from the core of who one is.

4. There is little understanding, or perhaps healthy models, of the shifts needed as a relationship matures. For example, "falling out of love" usually happens when the attractors become the distracters. For example: His love for fun and spontaneity, which drew her initially to him, becomes irresponsibility. Her stability and calm, which drew him initially to her, become control.

5. The person "looking for love" is actually looking for the ideal, someone out there, who will project back to him/her that he/she is OK. No, more than OK, close to perfect.

6. This person needs to be adored, or think another adores him/her, because there is a lack of inner strength and solid identity. The other becomes my world, because I lack a world. Being "in love" is the panacea for my emptiness.

7. Sexual intercourse does not need to be a part of these relationships. Sexual activity may indeed END the relationship or at least move it to the point where the attractors become, again, the distracters. The idealized images may be held together by long phone calls, gifts, holding, love letters, e-mails, etc.

8. This type of affair often occurs when there is a "lull" in the marriage relationship. The responsibility of raising children, starting and maintaining a career, paying bills, etc. become the focal point for the couple. Romance becomes a foreign word. People are especially vulnerable for this type of affair after the children are in school and/or the oldest child reaches early adolescence. (There are good reasons for this, from a family systems perspective, but I won't get into that here.)

Tip: If your spouse is struggling with this type of relationship, make sure you hold and care for your self. Your spouse does not have the capacity to do this for you (or anyone) at this point. Yes, you are ok. Her/his affair says less about you and much more about the emptiness within her/him. It is time for you to know you better. Model for him/her what it means to be a person with a core, with integrity, with boundaries, with values, with meaning, with purpose and actively figure out what your needs are, and get them met. Maybe she will ask questions. Maybe she will not. Maybe soon. Maybe later.

For more information on the different kinds of affairs, what causes them, the probabilities of them ending a marriage and what you can do about it, visit my site.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/cmd.php'ad=139627


Cat 267


The Love Dare by Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick (2008, Paperback)
ebay image$12.63
End Date: Sunday Feb-26-2012 0:03:35 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.63
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Love and War in California by Oakley Hall (2007, Hardcover)
ebay image$2.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:05:48 PST
Buy It Now for only: $6.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

SHE FELL AMONG THIEVES by DORNFORD YATES 1945
ebay image$7.91 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:11:50 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage by Kay Yerkovich...
ebay image$12.94
End Date: Thursday Mar-8-2012 11:40:48 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.94
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

The Love Is A Gentle Stranger Series by June Masters Bacher/6 PBs
ebay image$32.50 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:12:01 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary D. Chapman (2010,...
ebay image$8.82
End Date: Thursday Feb-23-2012 16:12:47 PST
Buy It Now for only: $8.82
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Learning to Love: Sugar and Spice \ Love by Degree by Debbie Macomber (2011,...
ebay image$0.99 (1 Bid)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:13:39 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Romantic Love (How to Be Head Over Heels and Still Land on Your Feet)
ebay image$3.49 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:14:14 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.49
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW - The Love Revolution by Joyce Meyer
ebay image$5.41
End Date: Wednesday Mar-7-2012 16:23:24 PST
Buy It Now for only: $5.41
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

How to Stay Married and Love Every Minute of It - Jack Exum (1988)
ebay image$3.49 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:14:14 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.49
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding...
ebay image$12.69
End Date: Wednesday Feb-29-2012 1:32:18 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.69
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

The Sixty Minute Marriage Builder: An Hour of Reading for a Lifetime of Love
ebay image$2.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:14:14 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gar
ebay image$8.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:15:10 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary D. Chapman (2010,...
ebay image$4.82
End Date: Monday Mar-5-2012 16:18:55 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.82
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Part Wild: One Woman's Extraordinary Love for a Creature Caught Between the...
ebay image$7.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:23:29 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Parenting With Love And Logic by Foster Cline, Jim F...
ebay image$15.49
End Date: Tuesday Mar-6-2012 6:21:57 PST
Buy It Now for only: $15.49
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Love and Other Stories - DeMaupassant - The Modern Library
ebay image$2.95 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:26:28 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

I Love Lucy Celebrating 50 years of Love and Laughter PLUS FREE BONUS!!
ebay image$19.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:27:31 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Study Guide Love Sex And Lasting Relationships by Chip Ingram Paperback
ebay image$7.74
End Date: Saturday Mar-3-2012 17:35:55 PST
Buy It Now for only: $7.74
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Rising Road: A True Tale of Love, Race, and Religion in America by Sharon...
ebay image$5.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:27:37 PST
Buy It Now for only: $15.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Pihkal: A Chemical Love Story by Alexander Shulgin and Ann Shulgin (1991, Pap...
ebay image$20.19
End Date: Thursday Feb-23-2012 16:57:38 PST
Buy It Now for only: $20.19
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

From Love Field: Our Final Hours With President John F. Kennedy by Nellie...
ebay image$10.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:51:36 PST
Buy It Now for only: $15.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

I Love Your Style: How to Define and Refine Your Personal Style by Amanda...
ebay image$13.95 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:59:53 PST
Buy It Now for only: $16.95
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW Love by the Numbers - Mccants, Glynis 9781402244629
ebay image$10.34
End Date: Saturday Feb-25-2012 13:44:21 PST
Buy It Now for only: $10.34
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Wake-Up Calls: You Don't Have to Sleepwalk Through Your Life, Love, or...
ebay image$3.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 5:05:50 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Fairytale Interrupted: What JFK Jr. Taught Me About Life, Love, and Loss by...
ebay image$11.99
End Date: Wednesday Feb-15-2012 20:49:49 PST
Buy It Now for only: $11.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

LOVE'S UNSEEN ENEMY Dr. Les Parrott III HBDJ
ebay image$1.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 5:06:53 PST
Buy It Now for only: $3.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Love's Fire by Andrew Harvey (1989, Paperback) poetry
ebay image$1.90 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 5:12:02 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix (2007, Paperback, Anniversary, ...
ebay image$13.76
End Date: Monday Mar-5-2012 10:43:51 PST
Buy It Now for only: $13.76
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

"The Ex Files: Women's Tales of Love, Litigation, And Liberty" by Ellen Feig
ebay image$0.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 5:19:10 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW - Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God
ebay image$7.50
End Date: Monday Feb-20-2012 12:10:42 PST
Buy It Now for only: $7.50
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

From Baghdad, With Love: A Marine, the War, and a Dog Named Lava by Jay Kopel...
ebay image$9.50 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 5:21:05 PST
Buy It Now for only: $11.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Love Tangle by Karla Hocker (1992, Paperback, Reissue)
ebay image$0.01 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 5:23:55 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Home Business Plan

Peel Away Ads Marketing And Advertising without Pop-Ups, Fly-Ins or Pop-Unders
home | Relationships site map | custom google search | Relationships articles | Privacy policy
Copyright © 2009 www.dovada.net.au