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Love Relationship, Set Your Relationship Up for Success
Set Your Relationship Up for Success
A quarter of thirtysomething couples are unhappy in their relationships, a new study shows. Just 51% of thirtysomething couples said they were 'very happy? in their relationship, with the remainder saying they were 'quite happy? but would like to see improvements.
Never Ever Show Youre Jealous
O.k., you're standing there all alone at a party and in the far corner of the room your boyfriend is talking to some groovy chick. She's coming onto him and much to your dismay, he doesn't seem to be bragging about all how happy he is in his relationship with you. In fact, he even seems to be encouraging and indulging the shameless slattern's disgusting, desperate, gall-filled pleas for sexual attention. So you a) burst into tears and run from the room b) go up to him and drape yourself around his neck so she can't miss the fact that you and him are "together" or c) stand there and repeatedly tap his shoulder with your finger going "Um honey, honey, honey, I have to talk to you ... until he finally is forced to turn around and scream in your face "WHAT!"
Whats Up With Unconditional Love'
To tell you the truth, I'm a little disillusioned with the term unconditional love, lately. It's just not "natural". The phrase has been used for decades, by psychologists, therapists, A.A. types and the overall spiritually minded to describe how one should cope with impossible behavior." The original principle behind the concept, was to help the person who is being abused accept the circumstances and not have to live in a perpetual state of resentment towards their partner. You, as the
codependent (ie the one who is always hurt) is supposed to see your partner as "sick" and not blame him or her for their actions. You're supposed to love and care for the adulterer, batterer, gambler, manic depressive or alcoholic the same way you would someone who has the flu. Husband comes home drunk? Sober him up with cups of black coffee and a dose of your eternally burning, unconditional love. Boyfriend unfaithful? That's O.k., because you have unconditional love for him that will last for an eternity. Girlfriends rack up your credit cards again with her compulsive shopping? You'll take care of the bills because you're love for her is undying and unconditional and you've told yourself ""I'll always love her no matter what ...."
Cutting the Cord
Sometimes, after a relationship has ended, many of us have problems letting go. A lot of my clients often complain of feeling haunted or even possessed by the dearly departed (who probably isn't even thinking of you at all and is busy happily running away with his or her new partner.) It's like the person has left an indelible imprint upon your heart and many of us feel that we can't go on until the ex returns. The energy of the ex might be manifesting itself in all sorts of ways --- in what you perceive to be little omens or reminders that occur in every day life (such as a phrase or song lyric) or even as a visitor in your dreams.
Is Your Soulmate an Idiot'
Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in the idea that they "must find their soulmate." Where do we get this idea that we are somehow not complete unless we are connected to another person? What are you? An electrical outlet waiting for a plug, so you can finally light up the world? Frankly, when I hear the word "soulmate" I tend to give a little shudder, especially when I think about some of the people in my past that I have considered to be my soulmates. Quite frankly, most of my soulmates were idiots! The Buddha would say that they were also my teachers -- people I have known in a previous life time who have come back in this lifetime to teach me a lesson. Boy did they, but unfortunately, it sometimes takes several soul mates to teach us just one lesson. (Hint, hint -- I think the lesson is supposed to be about "letting go" and stop trying to control, or own people -- a common problem in this society.)
The Male Rating System
While not necessarily New Age in nature, Samantha has noticed a lot of clients asking questions about their potential beaus lately and she thought this refreshing change might be just what was needed to help our female Realm members keep things in perspective regarding their male paramours. Enjoy!
-David -
It's a Gut Feeling ' Finding love
Most single guys are settled in their life. Their mornings, afternoons and evenings have a routine they are comfortable with and rarely will they go beyond the boundaries of that routine. Even a single guy's loneliness can become his norm and if someone crosses his path that interest him, he rationalizes instead of trying to adapt.
Youve Been Dumped - Heres How to Get Over It
Weve all been there. Weve fallen in love with somebody who just didnt love us back. Weve heard a variety of exit lines: I think its time we started seeing other people, I love you, but Im not in love with you, or Its not you. Its me.
A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 4 Steps to Improvement
It's all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent holiday visit with my parents. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my wife, Elizabeth, with the other. When you retire, thats what you realize is most important in life (okay, so thats not him in the photo).
Cheating Wives and Cheating Husbands Give Different Reasons for Having Extramarital Affairs
Infidelity studies indicate that the percentage of cheating wives is fast approaching the percentage of cheating husbands wives. But the studies also reveal that men and women who are cheating on their spouses give different reasons to justify their extramarital affairs.
Slaying The Green Eyed Monster
He hasn't called in hours. You call and get the roommate: "Oh, sorry ....he got in really late last night and is still asleep!"
Can We Still Be Friends'
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and
Improve
Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. Burk
Extended Family Relationships: Staying Friends with Former Lovers and Spouses
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and
Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. Burk
Typecasting, Candice Bergen and Family Relationships
I'm experiencing some challenges in my relationship with Candice Bergen.
Why Anger is Essential to Healthy Relationships
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Relationship Problems Begin With Poor Communication
Many relationship problems often begin with poor communication. Many couples often feel that their partner should know what they are thinking and do not communicate their thoughts and wants to them. When couples start to experience poor communication in their relationship this is when relationship problems begin.
Relationship Problems & Listening Skills
When I tell couples that relationship problems begin with poor communication, most couples believe the answer is to improve their ability to speak. Actually the most effective way to prevent relationship problems is to improve listening skills. A couple could practice communication skills by repeating back what they just heard. This enables both couples to be on the same page. Couples often interrupt their partner and do not fully understand what their partner is saying. By repeating back to their partner what they thought they heard, the potential for misunderstanding or misinterpretation is greatly reduced. After someone has stated their opinion or position, the other person does not respond with their point. Instead they must repeat back to their partner, "What I am hearing you say is . . " and repeat back what they believe they heard their partner say to them. In this way the person who sent, and the person who received, the message can be sure they clearly understand their point of view.
Relationship Problems Can Affect Your Children
When you and your spouse have relationship problems your children also suffer. Many children fear that their parents will get a divorce if their parents fight. They also might fear that they have to choose sides. When you and your spouse are having difficulty in your relationship this would be a good time to reassure your children that they are loved and safe.
Take A Break From Your Relationship Problems
Relationship problems can lead to undue stress, anger and depression. If you and your partner are experiencing issues with poor communication or are generally having problems in your relationship it is important to take care of yourself. Take a break from the relationship problems and do something you enjoy. If you can set aside your argument, you and your partner would also benefit by doing something fun together. Continuous arguing without resolution can erode the feelings of closeness you once shared. Spending a little time together enjoying each other's company could enable you and your partner to regain some closeness. Hopefully when you resume your argument you and your partner will have a new perspective or appreciation that will help resolve the issue causing the relationships problems.
What Men Want From Women
Actually, it's pretty simple. Deep inside the heart of every man is a secret wish to be trusted. How many times have men said to their wives, "If you would just trust me." Many men wonder why it seems so difficult for their wives to do something so seemingly simple. The answer stems from the physiological differences between the sexes.
Your Relationships Begin With You
As a single male in my mid-twenties, I find myself consciously and unconsciously thinking about and searching for that special someone. My goal has always been to be friends with my future wife for at least a year, date for a year, engaged for a year, which includes being married by the time I'm thirty.
Bring Back the Cilice Belt
Among Dan Brown's many accomplishments is bringing the cilice belt to popular attention. Silas, Brown's tonsured hit man in "The Da Vinci Code", wears one and also flagellates himself with The Discipline, a knotted rope. The image of this tall, albino monk performing 'corporal mortification' is a shocking one that stays with the reader.
Pen Pal Romance
We have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen pals that wrote to each other for years without meeting because they lived hundreds or even thousands of miles apart. Some friend of a friend set them up as pen pals or she decided to write to some unknown soldier away at war. They exchanged a few pictures and spent countless hours drafting letters back and forth, baring their hearts and souls to each other. Without ever dating, they fell in love. When one could eventually travel across the distance to finally meet the other, they both knew immediately that this was indeed the one they'd spend the rest of their life with. The physical attraction was every bit as strong as the emotional attraction they had felt for each other. It's a classic story that's existed as long as there's been a postal system for delivering the letters between would be lovers.
Reading Each Others Mind
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard couples express the fact that they felt their partner should be able to read their mind. Have you ever felt this way? Such thinking can lead to disappointment, sadness, and yes, at times, even anger.
Great Relationships: How to Get the Spark Back
Losing the spark - simply, if you will, falling out of love - is a natural and widespread phenomenon in long-term relationships.
Are You Looking for Ms. Right or Mr. Not so Wrong'
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Dont Avoid Conflict and Confrontation with Your Spouse
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Mark Twain once said
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