Great Relationships Checkbook Battles And How To Solve Them

Relationship Friendship Compatability Love Advice Information.


Home      
How compatible are you and the person you are with'

What You Absolutely Must Know About the One You Are With!
How compatible are you and the person you are with? How would you know? Just because you like the same types of foods and pets does not mean that you can have a blissful, long-term relationship.

50 secrets of blissful relationships - Power of astrology - The anatomy of an affair - Unhappy relationships - Dating information


Share |


You are free to use content from this page in your blog or website, in return for a link back to this page from that blog or website.



Great Relationships: Checkbook Battles and How to Solve Them


"You can't hold on to a dime. Do you own the mall yet'!"

"It takes a crowbar to open your wallet. You can't take it with you, you know!!"

If these words or ones like them sound all too familiar, you might be experiencing "checkbook battles" in your relationship.

Checkbook battles are simply fights about money. In marriage, the Big Six areas of potential conflict are communication, sex, children, in-laws, religion and, you guessed it, money. For many couples, money can become a vicious battleground.

In my work helping couples deal with this issue, I've found that people are often uncomfortable talking about money. Almost any other issue, including sex, seems to be discussed more easily. Many couples have never discussed it all, except to argue about it. It's not surprising that research shows many divorces can be traced back to conflicts over money.

So why all the conflict over money? Maybe it's because people tend to regard money in very different ways.

A useful definition of money is simply that it is "green energy." The way that we handle this green energy is our "money style." Our money style is determined by at least two factors: the emotional meaning that we give to money and the way money was handled in the family in which we grew up.

Consider what the emotional meaning of money is for you. Does it represent security, power, pleasure, control, independence? Or perhaps something else? How is your perspective akin to and different from your partner's'

Secondly, how was money handled in your family when you were a child? Were your parents savers or big spenders? If your partner's background is significantly different from yours, there is the potential for checkbook battles.

Consider, for example, one couple that came in for counseling. See if you can pick up the differences in Bob and Mary's money styles.

When Bob was growing up, money was simply a means to an end, and the end was fun and pleasure. If you wanted something, you bought it. The phrase "can't afford it" had little or no meaning.

Mary grew up quite differently. In her family, money was related to security and self-esteem. Every potential purchase had to be thoroughly researched. Resources, including Consumer Reports, had to be consulted.

After much deliberation, a decision was made, and if the money was spent, the purchaser then felt guilty about it.

Can you pick out the different emotional meanings of money for these two people? Do you think there might be some potential for conflict'

If you and your partner have different money styles, don't be alarmed. Most folks do.

There are many things that can be done to help blend the differing styles.

Here is a list of do's and don'ts that not only helped Bob and Mary avoid checkbook battles, it strengthened their relationship as well.

- Don't assume that your way is the only right way.

- Don't accuse your partner of being wrong or sinful.

- Don't try to force your partner to see the issue your way.

- Don't handle the issue in secret, behind your partner's back.

- Do identify your own money style.

- Do identify your partner's money style.

- Do learn some flexibility.

- Do explore your goals for life together. Remember you're partners, not competitors.

- Do try switching roles. Let the bill-payer do the shopping and the shopper do the bill paying.

- Do discover what you might need to learn from your partner's style.

One way to combine the two styles is to create a reasonable working budget.

There are two keys to making a budget work: You must have an agreed-upon amount of money that cannot be spent unless it is first discussed; Each person gets a small amount of money that can be used however he or she wishes, no questions asked.

If you continue to remain stuck on this issue, it might be useful to consult a financial planner, a marriage counselor, or both.

Remember that the goal is to blend your styles so this green energy called money works for you and draws you closer together.

Come to think of it, blending styles and growing closer seem like good goals no matter what the issue.

For more tips and tools on resolving conflicts and creating a great relationship, visit relationship coach Jeff Herring's website SecretsofGreatRelationships.com


Cat 267


The Fine Art of Friendship: Building and Maintaining Quality Relationships by...
ebay image$2.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 0:06:16 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW Great Place High School Student Council 3 - Koujima
ebay image$7.88
End Date: Saturday Mar-10-2012 5:50:45 PST
Buy It Now for only: $7.88
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

GREAT LAKES LUMBER ON THE GREAT PLAINS Winona MN hbdj
ebay image$14.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 0:10:00 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Teaching Co Great Course CDs : FROM JESUS TO CONSTANTINE Brand New
ebay image$49.99
End Date: Saturday Feb-25-2012 0:20:37 PST
Buy It Now for only: $49.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Russia battles the Latvian Riflemen 1915-1920 Riga 1972 Russian WWI Military War
ebay image$79.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 0:15:53 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

SWALLOW A TALE OF THE GREAT TREK H. RIDER HAGGARD PUB HODDER & STOUGHTON 1919
ebay image$6.32 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 0:24:40 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Fat to Skinny Fast and Easy!: Eat Great, Lose Weight, and Lower Blood Sugar W...
ebay image$15.60
End Date: Monday Mar-5-2012 10:43:02 PST
Buy It Now for only: $15.60
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

FAMILY CIRCLE CAKES - GREAT COOK BOOK!
ebay image$3.24 (1 Bid)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 0:28:13 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW One Hundred Great Essays - Diyanni, Robert (EDT)
ebay image$35.99
End Date: Wednesday Feb-22-2012 9:29:36 PST
Buy It Now for only: $35.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Great Hollywood Westerns by Ted Sennett (1992, Hardcover, Reprint)
ebay image$10.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 0:30:30 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Guitar Player special "Hot Licks"from 1986 very rare in great condition!
ebay image$5.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:01:25 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Teaching Co. Great Course Stress and Your Body Audio CD NEW
ebay image$49.50
End Date: Saturday Mar-10-2012 19:18:04 PST
Buy It Now for only: $49.50
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

1950's THE COMPLETE WORKS OF MARK TWAIN IN GREAT CONDITON PLEASE READ
ebay image$5.50 (5 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:10:17 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Great Big Crochet Afghan Book
ebay image$12.55
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 12:08:52 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.55
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Achewood: The Great Outdoor Fight HC hardcover, Chris Onstad, Dark Horse Comics
ebay image$6.48 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:11:31 PST
Buy It Now for only: $8.64
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

1935 Little People Who Became Great, Laura A. Large
ebay image$0.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:13:16 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Marriages, Families, and Relationships 11th by Lamanna International Edition
ebay image$60.94
End Date: Wednesday Feb-22-2012 2:40:37 PST
Buy It Now for only: $60.94
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

CHARLOTTE FIRMIN, HANNAH'S GREAT DECISION
ebay image$1.07 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:26:48 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Salmson Aircraft of World War I: Great War Aircraft in Profile 3
ebay image$24.95
End Date: Saturday Mar-10-2012 18:34:55 PST
Buy It Now for only: $24.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

The Dark Frontier by Eric Ambler (1991, Paperback) Great Classic 1936 Spy Novel
ebay image$12.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:30:43 PST
Buy It Now for only: $14.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

F.SCOTT FITZGERALD.GREAT GATSBY.FOLIO SOCIETY.1968,lst thus.FINE in like s/case
ebay image$28.52 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:48:47 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

America the Beautiful Rediscovering What Made This Nation Great Ben Carson
ebay image$18.98
End Date: Friday Feb-17-2012 14:17:54 PST
Buy It Now for only: $18.98
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

967 Adult stories, Kindle Horror Story, ebooks, Great Holiday gift
ebay image$2.80 (1 Bid)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:48:57 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

SPAD Two-Seat Fighters of World War I: Great War Aircraft in Profile 7
ebay image$24.95
End Date: Saturday Mar-10-2012 18:38:45 PST
Buy It Now for only: $24.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

500+ Kindle Biography ebooks - Great Summer Gift, Present.
ebay image$2.80 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:49:17 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

178 Adult Stories | Classic PDF eBooks, Great Summer Gift | For most eReaders
ebay image$2.80 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:49:38 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Brandenburg D.I: Great War Aircraft in Profile 2
ebay image$12.95
End Date: Saturday Mar-10-2012 18:35:59 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Adult stories, 50 Kindle erotic ebooks. Great read. Summer Gift.
ebay image$3.51 (3 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:51:16 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Crudens Concordance Leather | $25.00 each | Great Gift! | FREE Shipping!
ebay image$25.00
End Date: Thursday Feb-23-2012 13:44:25 PST
Buy It Now for only: $25.00
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

32000 Adult stories | ebooks for Kindle - Complete Set - Great Summer Gift
ebay image$11.40 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:51:16 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

1500 Kindle Children's ebooks Great Summer Holiday Gift. Present.
ebay image$2.80 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:51:16 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Farm Journal Magazine October 1951 Great Advertisement
ebay image$9.00
End Date: Thursday Feb-16-2012 14:12:15 PST
Buy It Now for only: $9.00
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

500 Adult stories, Kindle Science Fiction ebooks - great Summer gift | Read
ebay image$2.80 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 1:51:17 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW The Great Hunt - Jordan, Robert 9780312851408
ebay image$19.53
End Date: Friday Feb-24-2012 19:52:09 PST
Buy It Now for only: $19.53
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

The Great Gatsby - a 5-hour 4-CD Audio book
ebay image$17.24 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 2:34:07 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Home Business Plan

Peel Away Ads Marketing And Advertising without Pop-Ups, Fly-Ins or Pop-Unders
home | Relationships site map | custom google search | Relationships articles | Privacy policy
Copyright © 2009 www.dovada.net.au