Fight Flight Or Loving Action Loves All About Chemistry

Relationship Friendship Compatability Love Advice Information.


Home      
How compatible are you and the person you are with'

What You Absolutely Must Know About the One You Are With!
How compatible are you and the person you are with? How would you know? Just because you like the same types of foods and pets does not mean that you can have a blissful, long-term relationship.

50 secrets of blissful relationships - Power of astrology - The anatomy of an affair - Unhappy relationships - Dating information


Share |


You are free to use content from this page in your blog or website, in return for a link back to this page from that blog or website.



Fight, Flight, or Loving Action


Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano'.

Fight or flight - today we automatically respond this way to the present dangers, the deep fears that come up in relationships: rejection and engulfment - fears of loss of other and loss of self.

Often, when we feel rejected and fear the loss of the other, we fight for love not to go away by defending, explaining, blaming, attacking, complying, fixing, or we flee through withdrawal. Often, when we feel engulfed and fear losing ourselves through being controlled by another, we flee through resistance or withdrawal, or fight by attacking, defending, or explaining. Just as our ancestors fought or fled from physical danger, we fight and flee from emotional danger. The problem is that, while fight or flight is appropriate in the face of physical danger, this same behavior in the face of emotional fear causes deep problems in relationships.

When we respond automatically to the fears of losing ourselves and losing another, we behave in the very ways that create fear in the other. Our fight or flight reactions create fear in the other person - the same fears of losing themselves or losing us. Our fighting and fleeing activates others' fear of rejection and engulfment, creating a vicious circle of fighting and fleeing.

These unconscious, automatic reactions to emotional danger were learned long ago, when we were very small and had to rely on fight or flight as part of our survival. Today they are now longer necessary for our survival, and need to be replaced with loving actions toward ourselves and others.

What does it mean to take loving action in the face of another's fight or flight behavior? Where do we get the role modeling for what it looks like to take loving action in the face of another's unloving behavior? Most of us had parents who did not role model loving action in the face of conflict. We have not seen much of it on TV or in movies. How do we learn to take loving action in our own behalf when in conflict with another - action that takes care of ourselves without violating or threatening another'

This role modeling exists in the form of our spiritual Guidance. Tapping into this Guidance is not as hard as you may think - it just takes practice and a deep desire to move out of fight or flight and into loving action.

The steps we can take to move out of automatic fight or flight and into loving actions are:

1. Start to attend to your feelings, the physical sensations within your body that let you know when you are anxious or afraid.

2. Stop and breathe when you feel fear or anxiety in the face of conflict, or in the face of another's fight or flight behavior. Give yourself some breathing time to make a conscious decision rather than go on automatic pilot.

3. Open to learning with the source of spiritual Guidance that is always here for all of us by asking with a sincere desire to know, "What is the loving action? What is in my highest good and the highest good of the other'" Asking this question with a deep desire to learn opens the door to receiving information. It does not matter whether you are asking this of your own highest self within, or from an external source of wisdom. The information will come in the form of words, pictures, or feelings when you sincerely want to be loving to yourself and others.

4. Take action on the information you receive.

Examples of loving action are:

1. Move into compassion for the other person, recognizing that he or she would not be in fight or flight without being in fear. Asking the other person, again from a deep desire to learn, what he or she is afraid of that is causing this behavior may de-escalate the situation and lead to understanding and healing.

2. If the other person is not open to calm discussion and exploration of the conflict, disengage from the interaction, speaking your truth without anger or blame. For example, you might say, "I don't want to fight with you. I'm going to take a walk and let's try to talk about it later." Or, "This isn't feeling good between us. Let's take a break and get together later."

3. If the other person has withdrawn from you, loving action may be to do something fun or nurturing for yourself.

Both staying and learning together or taking some time apart to reflect on the issues or self-nurture will break the cycle of each person going into fight or flight in reaction to the other person's fight or flight. It takes conscious practice to stop going into automatic behavior, but the payoff is well worth the time it takes to practice loving action.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You'" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.


Cat 267


ACTION FIGURE DIGEST LOT OF 12 BACK ISSUES, ART MAGAZINE, DESIGN
ebay image$1.91 (2 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 4:19:17 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Introduction to Flight by John Anderson / 7th International Edition
ebay image$50.79
End Date: Wednesday Mar-7-2012 3:18:42 PST
Buy It Now for only: $50.79
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Action Figure News & Toy Review Aug 1997 price guide
ebay image$6.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 8:03:50 PST
Buy It Now for only: $7.50
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Community Nutrition in Action by Boyle 5E (Z)
ebay image$89.99
End Date: Saturday Feb-18-2012 10:28:09 PST
Buy It Now for only: $89.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Action Figure News & Toy Review April 1997 price guide
ebay image$6.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 8:03:56 PST
Buy It Now for only: $7.50
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

MICHAEL DOUGLAS CANCER FIGHT PEOPLE MAGAZINE CHRISTINA AGUILERA DIVORCE
ebay image$9.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 8:25:40 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Strategic Management in Action by Mary Coulter 5ed
ebay image$43.80
End Date: Wednesday Feb-29-2012 15:59:02 PST
Buy It Now for only: $43.80
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Playboy Magazine August 1979 Dorothy Stratten Candy Loving
ebay image$3.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 11:29:07 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Introduction to Flight 7E by John Anderson, John D. Anderson Jr.
ebay image$37.63
End Date: Monday Feb-20-2012 10:20:14 PST
Buy It Now for only: $37.63
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Fight Magazine Feb 2011 Cain Velasquez
ebay image$4.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 12:25:27 PST
Buy It Now for only: $6.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

cb30:VINTAGE DRAG RACING USA MAGAZINE OCTOBER 1974 VOL.10 NO.12 ACTION COVERAGE
ebay image$9.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 12:35:09 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

BRAND NEW Introduction to Flight by Anderson 7TH ED
ebay image$35.99
End Date: Sunday Feb-26-2012 5:16:32 PST
Buy It Now for only: $35.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Action Now Magazine 1981 B-52s
ebay image$5.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 12:52:27 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Introduction to Flight 7th edition by Anderson International Edition
ebay image$46.76
End Date: Monday Mar-5-2012 8:39:58 PST
Buy It Now for only: $46.76
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Action Now September 1981
ebay image$5.00 (1 Bid)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 13:00:33 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

vintage 1952, GOLF IN ACTION, 777 continuous action photos by 15 experts
ebay image$0.99 (1 Bid)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 15:18:26 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

The 39 Clues Collection 10 Books Set Pack Plus bonus poster, Codes, Action New
ebay image$99.99
End Date: Saturday Mar-3-2012 3:35:41 PST
Buy It Now for only: $99.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

GAMEINFORMER MAGAZINE SEPTEMBER 2005 COMPUTER/VIDEO GAME/FIGHT NIGHT/XBOX/PS3
ebay image$0.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 15:31:30 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW Made to Crave Action Plan - TerKeurst, Lysa/ Chilto
ebay image$6.08
End Date: Tuesday Feb-21-2012 2:06:55 PST
Buy It Now for only: $6.08
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Vintage July 1973 ROD ACTION Mag of Street Rodding
ebay image$1.50 (1 Bid)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 15:44:44 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Life Magazine Vintage March 19, 1971 Frazier Ali Fight
ebay image$10.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 16:36:38 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Strategic Management in Action by Mary K. Coulter, 5E
ebay image$39.88
End Date: Wednesday Feb-22-2012 11:38:27 PST
Buy It Now for only: $39.88
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Vintage September 1973 ROD ACTION Mag of Street Rodding
ebay image$1.50 (1 Bid)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 16:40:32 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Alpha Flight Classic - Volume 2 (v. 2), John Byrne
ebay image$13.54
End Date: Thursday Feb-16-2012 21:39:26 PST
Buy It Now for only: $13.54
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Vintage December 1973 ROD ACTION Mag of Street Rodding
ebay image$1.50 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 16:49:47 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Black Powder The Old West Frontier Cartridge Guns Western Action Shoot Magazine
ebay image$9.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 17:11:52 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

33 NEW Audio Cassettes Louis L'Amour 60+ Hours of Frontier Action
ebay image$49.95
End Date: Thursday Feb-23-2012 10:40:54 PST
Buy It Now for only: $49.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Motocross Action Magazine Nov 1982 Yamaha YZ100-USGP=More Vintage Motocross
ebay image$7.49 (1 Bid)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 17:16:56 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

B-17 Bomber Pilot's Flight Operating Manual NEW
ebay image$25.18
End Date: Sunday Feb-19-2012 1:58:53 PST
Buy It Now for only: $25.18
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

JULY / AUGUST 1947 Issue of FIVE NOVELS Vol 65 #15 Action Baseball Cover
ebay image$5.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 17:20:59 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

SEPTEMBER 1946 MAMMOTH ADVENTURE PULP MAGAZINE Vol 1 #2 Action Cover Arnold Kohn
ebay image$9.99 (1 Bid)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 17:21:28 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Viking Tactics VTAC Stay In the Fight Kyle Lamb BOOK
ebay image$46.49
End Date: Sunday Mar-4-2012 20:26:42 PST
Buy It Now for only: $46.49
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Robocop-Cinefex-#45-Flight Of The Intruder-Excellent Condition!
ebay image$9.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 17:30:16 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Flight to Heaven: A Plane Crash...A Lone Survivor...A J
ebay image$4.01
End Date: Friday Mar-9-2012 17:24:26 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.01
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

LOT OF 3 MAGAZINES MOTOR TREND-TRUCKIN-AIR BRUSH ACTION BN 2011
ebay image$7.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 18:12:05 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Home Business Plan

Peel Away Ads Marketing And Advertising without Pop-Ups, Fly-Ins or Pop-Unders
home | Relationships site map | custom google search | Relationships articles | Privacy policy
Copyright © 2009 www.dovada.net.au