Denial Is Not A River In Egypt

Relationship Friendship Compatability Love Advice Information.


Home      
How compatible are you and the person you are with'

What You Absolutely Must Know About the One You Are With!
How compatible are you and the person you are with? How would you know? Just because you like the same types of foods and pets does not mean that you can have a blissful, long-term relationship.

50 secrets of blissful relationships - Power of astrology - The anatomy of an affair - Unhappy relationships - Dating information


Share |


You are free to use content from this page in your blog or website, in return for a link back to this page from that blog or website.



Denial Is Not A River In Egypt


Original it ain't, but it still merits repetition: "Denial is not a river in Egypt". What it is, is a highly addictive behaviour.

It starts insignificantly enough; an incident occurs which you would have rather hadn't happened; words are spoken that are cruel and contemptuous, words you would not have wished to hear; a behaviour appears that you weren't expecting, which is hurtful and dismissive? Suddenly you're to blame, though you probably aren't too sure what for.

Then it's gone again. Things revert to 'normality', the 'blip' is explained away, or simply not mentioned again. There may be an apology - but equally there may not - you may be told that you're making too much of something meaningless, or maybe although it 'won't happen again' (his undertaking), you somehow provoked it (your fault).

And you look at this man in whom you've already invested so much emotion (and self-worth) and you really want to believe him. You probably need to believe him. So you find an explanation, or justification, for what happened: he was tired, or stressed, or worried, or jealous or drunk? and somehow you managed to make the situation worse and tip the scales? That's how denial starts.

So denial isn't a river in Egypt. It's actually a snowball hurtling down a steep slope, becoming ever bigger and gathering momentum as it goes. Once you've started explaining his bad behaviours away, you just keep on doing it, way beyond the dictates of common sense and self-respect. Having put him on a pedestal, you're left in the mud and slime beneath his plinth; and that is where you stay, way, way too long.

For the longest time ' because whether it is months, years or decades it's always much too long ' it's your being mired in manure that keeps him smelling of roses.

If only women adhered to the "Three Strikes And You're Out" law ' and by strikes I mean verbal assault as well as physical assault ' but we don't. The statistic is that, on average, women will endure some ten times that number of 'strikes' before they finally get out. Once denial is established, fear sets in; a fear that eats away at a person.

This week I received an email from a woman, which began with the brave words: "I love this man and I know that he loves me." It went on to say: "He puts me down and makes me feel like I am less than a dog on the street."

Maybe, just maybe, he does love her some of the time in his own heartless, destructive, dysfunctional way. More likely he's attached to her in the way that any parasite is attached to what it feeds off. Doubtless he needs her, even more than she believes she needs him.

But it's not love that he feels in the sense of caring for and being committed to fostering her emotional, spiritual, mental and physical well being.

A harsh judgement? Maybe, but an informed one; I've been there, done that and still have the T shirt to prove that I tried to survive in a relationship where 'love' was often a dead ringer for hate.

If you haven't been there, you'd think it would be pretty simple to tell love and venomous hate apart. But that's the beauty of denial: you genuinely stop being able to see the blindingly obvious. You can carry on missing the truth, even when it keeps punching and slapping you in the face. You hang on waiting for what you are desperate to believe will, finally, come into being. It doesn't, of course.

It pains me deeply to think of any woman throwing away her precious life in this way. Denial is not a river in Egypt. If you've ever seen a dog on a length of chain trying futilely to break free, then you know what denial is and what it does.

C) 2005 Annie Kaszina

Joyful Coaching

An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women heal the trauma of the past, so they can enjoy the present and look forward to the future.

Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com To subscribe to Annie's twice monthly ezine, or order her eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be, go: to http://www.joyfulcoaching.com


Cat 267


Beck!: On a Backwards River: The Story of Beck by Rob Jovanovic (Hardcover)
ebay image$5.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 6:15:41 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

The Ancient River of Gold Mining Prospecting Book
ebay image$19.95
End Date: Tuesday Feb-14-2012 21:38:44 PST
Buy It Now for only: $19.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

STATE OF DENIAL BY BOB WOODWARD -BUSH AT WAR PART III - HARDCOVER BOOK
ebay image$5.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 6:23:45 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

A River Apart: The Pottery of Cochiti & Santo Domingo P
ebay image$38.72
End Date: Saturday Feb-18-2012 6:13:41 PST
Buy It Now for only: $38.72
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

ANCIENT EGYPT Life Myth and Art
ebay image$3.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 7:12:25 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

RARE TRAVEL LOT LOS ANGELES RIVER RESTORATION KOREATOWN LONG BEACH PARIS MAINE
ebay image$3.98 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 7:38:56 PST
Buy It Now for only: $5.98
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker (1997, Paperback)
ebay image$13.51
End Date: Monday Mar-5-2012 14:07:39 PST
Buy It Now for only: $13.51
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Classic Glass Painting: Inspirations from the Past-Judy Balchin-Ancient Egypt,
ebay image$4.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 8:09:26 PST
Buy It Now for only: $5.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Southern Illinois River To River Trail Pocket Guide
ebay image$12.95
End Date: Wednesday Feb-22-2012 4:16:51 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Hiroshima America Atomic Bomb 50 Year Debate Denial Civilian Impact Casualty Die
ebay image$8.46 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 8:09:32 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

AUTOGRAPHED: Andy Williams: Moon River and Me (2009, Hardcover)
ebay image$14.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 9:47:16 PST
Buy It Now for only: $16.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Heart Like A River: 14th North Carolina Infantry, 1861-1865
ebay image$15.26
End Date: Monday Feb-13-2012 20:51:16 PST
Buy It Now for only: $15.26
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

LIFE ON THE RIVER BOOK WITH TWO LETTERS FROM AUTHOR, SIGNED UNIQUE
ebay image$14.95 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 9:51:13 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Into The Minam: The History of a River and Its People
ebay image$23.94
End Date: Friday Feb-24-2012 15:34:06 PST
Buy It Now for only: $23.94
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

River Out of Eden: A Darwinian View of Life by Richard Dawkins (1995, Hardcover)
ebay image$2.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 10:03:59 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

IPSWICH, Massachusetts--Stories from the River's Mouth (MA)
ebay image$14.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 10:17:51 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

The Death of Gods in Ancient Egypt NEW by Jane Sellers
ebay image$26.92
End Date: Monday Feb-20-2012 18:55:29 PST
Buy It Now for only: $26.92
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Round River by Aldo Leopold, Luna B. Leopold (1972, ...
ebay image$0.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 11:01:05 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW Goodbye to a River - Graves, John 9780394426907
ebay image$17.58
End Date: Sunday Mar-4-2012 11:57:24 PST
Buy It Now for only: $17.58
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

History of Ancient Egypt, Vol.1 & 2, 1886 HC, Rawlinson, Many Illustrations
ebay image$41.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 13:50:15 PST
Buy It Now for only: $45.50
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Upper Mississippi River Navigation Charts, 1989 Color Maps, US Army Corps
ebay image$17.50 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 14:45:47 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW The Bears of Blue River - Major, Charles
ebay image$9.10
End Date: Friday Mar-9-2012 11:36:06 PST
Buy It Now for only: $9.10
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

The River Where America Began by Bob Deans (2007, Hardcover)
ebay image$2.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 16:09:26 PST
Buy It Now for only: $5.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW Fall River, Ma - Lewis, Rob
ebay image$14.34
End Date: Wednesday Feb-15-2012 10:33:50 PST
Buy It Now for only: $14.34
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

State of Denial: Bush at War, Part III by Bob Woodwa...
ebay image$2.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 16:16:54 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Crossing the River With Dogs: Problem Solving for College Students by Ted...
ebay image$30.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 16:48:41 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

New York & Hudson River Valley {3 Volumes} Family History Genealogy - Book on CD
ebay image$7.99
End Date: Tuesday Feb-21-2012 12:56:33 PST
Buy It Now for only: $7.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

The Hudson River School by Trewin Copplestone
ebay image$9.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 16:49:50 PST
Buy It Now for only: $10.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

So Cold the River-Michael Koryta
ebay image$13.72
End Date: Thursday Mar-8-2012 16:42:19 PST
Buy It Now for only: $13.72
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

River Running West John Wesley Powell Life Donald Worst
ebay image$4.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 17:00:54 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Green River, Running Red: The Real Story of the Green River Killer--America's...
ebay image$0.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 17:36:05 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW - Cleopatra: The Search for the Last Queen of Egypt
ebay image$4.49
End Date: Tuesday Feb-28-2012 11:52:34 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.49
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Sacred Waters Pilgrimage Up Ganges River by Stephen Alter (2001) 1st HC/DJ
ebay image$9.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 17:46:44 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Crossing the River with Dogs: Problem Solving for Co...
ebay image$44.95
End Date: Sunday Mar-4-2012 13:23:23 PST
Buy It Now for only: $44.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Home Business Plan

Peel Away Ads Marketing And Advertising without Pop-Ups, Fly-Ins or Pop-Unders
home | Relationships site map | custom google search | Relationships articles | Privacy policy
Copyright © 2009 www.dovada.net.au