Are You A Hopium Addict Telling The Hard Truth Cheating

Relationship Friendship Compatability Love Advice Information.


Home      
How compatible are you and the person you are with'

What You Absolutely Must Know About the One You Are With!
How compatible are you and the person you are with? How would you know? Just because you like the same types of foods and pets does not mean that you can have a blissful, long-term relationship.

50 secrets of blissful relationships - Power of astrology - The anatomy of an affair - Unhappy relationships - Dating information


Share |


You are free to use content from this page in your blog or website, in return for a link back to this page from that blog or website.



Are You A Hopium Addict'


Are You A 'Hopium Addict''

If the question alone was enough to make you recoil in horror, it doesn't necessarily mean that the term couldn't possibly apply to you. You may not have heard the term before, but your reaction may be because you are a closet hopium addict.

What is the definition of a hopium addict? 'A hopium addict is someone who puts their own emotional needs on hold, while they wait for their partner to kick their addiction ' be it to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or emotionally and physically abusive behaviour ' despite all the evidence to the contrary'.

Addiction to drugs, alcohol and gambling are easy enough to identify. The addiction to emotionally and physically abusive behaviour is generally far less readily identifiable, at least to the woman who is on the receiving end of it.

You see, women don't intentionally fall in love with a bully. They'll fall in love with someone who's strong, masterful, in control, masculine, powerful, resourceful, confident; in short, someone who'll complete them, someone who appears to embody all the old fashioned stereotypes of what a man is. (Or, at least, what a man was before the feminists started to challenge the stereotype.)

Now, the man who appears to embody all these stereotypes, behaves in a particular way that allows his conquest to slip into: 'I'm-a-princess-and-I've-finally-been-rescued-by-my-prince' mode. Suddenly, all the burdens of coping on her own have been lifted from her shoulders. Suddenly, she'll never have to 'do' life alone again'

By rights, these couples should just walk off into the sunset happily together, the man chivalrously keeping his sword slung over his right hip to protect his lady from danger'. Except that it's not really like that.

Abusive men start out very charming and chivalrous and in control. They tend to be fast wooers ' because the veneer of confident masculinity is actually rather thin and brittle. Underpinning the veneer there is a profound sense of personal inadequacy and a fundamental dislike of women. (If you listen to them long enough they'll tell you that key female figures in their life have wronged them. At bottom, they mistrust all women.)

Once the fog of hormones, pheromones and straight lust starts to lift, things play out rather differently. Abusive men seek commitment yet loathe the demands it imposes on them. They encourage their partner to depend on them, then become acutely resentful of the dependency they see.

This resentment, increasingly, reveals itself in reproaches, fault finding, withdrawal of intimacy and escalating outbursts of anger. Whether or not physical violence is used, the nature of these outbursts is violent, inasmuch as it shatters trust and undermines the woman's feelings of self-worth.

The man may, or may not, threaten to leave. Almost certainly, he will point out to his partner how fundamentally flawed and unworthy she is. The woman is likely to have difficulty in reconciling this stranger, who is incandescent with self-righteous fury, with the prince who wooed her.

An attack of this kind is devastating and, at least in the early days, the woman is likely to reveal the depth of her distress. When she does so, the man's fury will subside and he will revert to being her loving cavalier? for a while at least.

The point is: an abusive man restores his own feelings of self-worth by cutting 'the little woman' down to size ' irrespective of whatever it is that occurred to make him feel small in the first place.

But there's also a calculation involved: whether or not he loves her, he desperately needs her, because he uses her to shore up his feelings about himself. So, he has to do his best not to drive her away; which is why he reverts back to loving mode? until the next time. And there always will be a next time - which will always be worse than before - because in order to get his payoff, he has to 'up the ante'.

Over time, as he keeps knocking her down (psychologically and perhaps physically also), he becomes more confident that she won't leave. With all the conflict she loses the energy and the sense of an independent self that she needs to leave. So the loving interludes become less necessary, for him, and less frequent.

And that's where the hopium addiction comes in. He may still 'mainline' her just enough love to keep her locked in; or else she may be so starved that she stays, when she should have left long ago, still trying to get the 'fix' she needs; the fix, that she misguidedly believes, only he can provide.

The hopium addict is the woman who thinks that her partner loves her really, he just has difficulty showing it because he's had a hard time. She believes that somehow it will all work out alright, they'll find a way to live happily together ever after, the kids won't be affected.

Unfortunately, hopium addiction is degenerative; like any other addiction, unless you get treatment, it will destroy you.

Annie Kaszina Specialist Women's Empowerment Coach and NLP Practitioner. Author of the ebook "The Woman You Want To Be"

e-mail me at annie@joyfulcoaching.com

Annie is passionate about helping women to attract the relationships they truly want.

You can subscribe to Annie's free ezine at http://www.joyfulcoaching.com


Cat 267


Addict in the Family: Stories of Loss, Hope, and Recovery by Beverly Conyers...
ebay image$12.86
End Date: Saturday Mar-3-2012 2:37:05 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.86
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

The Carbohydrate Addict's Healthy Heart Program: Break Your Carbo-Insulin...
ebay image$0.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Thursday Feb-9-2012 23:07:38 PST
Buy It Now for only: $1.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet: The Lifelong Solution to Yo-Yo Dieting by Heller
ebay image$0.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 7:43:34 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW The Mindful Addict - Catton, Tom 9780981848273
ebay image$12.36
End Date: Saturday Feb-18-2012 13:14:14 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.36
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Addict Nation by Jane Velez-Mitchell,Sandra Mohr SIGNED
ebay image$25.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Friday Feb-10-2012 14:38:00 PST
Buy It Now for only: $37.50
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

The Carbohydrate Addict's Lifespan Program : A Personalized Plan for Becoming ..
ebay image$3.25
End Date: Saturday Feb-11-2012 23:06:47 PST
Buy It Now for only: $3.25
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

5 Psychology Titles: Books that will make you think: The Addict, I Married a Psy
ebay image$0.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Saturday Feb-11-2012 9:19:35 PST
Buy It Now for only: $1.25
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Alice Cooper,Golf Monster:A Rock 'N' Roller's 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict
ebay image$9.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Saturday Feb-11-2012 17:18:31 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet NEW by Rachael F. Heller
ebay image$9.38
End Date: Saturday Feb-18-2012 11:39:33 PST
Buy It Now for only: $9.38
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet: The Lifelong Solutio...
ebay image$3.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Saturday Feb-11-2012 18:53:23 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Christian Dior Dior addict high high color lipstick authentic
ebay image$12.99
End Date: Saturday Feb-11-2012 3:51:01 PST
Buy It Now for only: $12.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

WARP JAPAN MAGAZINE-Relax Japan Type Mag-Kanye West,Andre 3000,Taz Arnold,Addict
ebay image$19.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 3:41:18 PST
Buy It Now for only: $25.50
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

The Carbohydrate Addict's Healthy Heart Program: Break Your Carbo-Insulin...
ebay image$4.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 6:37:07 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Dr PAUL O DOCTOR ALCOHOLIC ADDICT 1977 BIG BOOK TALK ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS 1 Cd
ebay image$3.99
End Date: Monday Feb-27-2012 14:35:45 PST
Buy It Now for only: $3.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

ANTIQUE RADIO CLASSIFIED December 2005 AWA Conference Report - Yard Sale Addict
ebay image$0.77 (0 Bids)
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 7:39:24 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Dior Addict Ultra Gloss Reflect - #577 free shipping
ebay image$14.99
End Date: Tuesday Feb-14-2012 8:15:08 PST
Buy It Now for only: $14.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

THE CARBOHYDRATE ADDICTS CALORIE COUNTER!!!
ebay image$2.50 (0 Bids)
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 8:48:51 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Confessions of a Street Addict by Jim Cramer (2002, Hardcover)
ebay image$0.99 (1 Bid)
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 12:12:35 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

NEW - Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict
ebay image$6.65
End Date: Sunday Mar-4-2012 0:09:28 PST
Buy It Now for only: $6.65
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Diet Book - The Carbohydrate Addict's Lifespan Program
ebay image$5.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 13:06:49 PST
Buy It Now for only: $7.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Become an Energy Addict Jon Gordon
ebay image$3.49
End Date: Thursday Feb-16-2012 16:55:14 PST
Buy It Now for only: $3.49
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Carbohydrate Addict's Diet by Rachael F. Heller WT9519
ebay image$5.19 (0 Bids)
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 14:42:44 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

I WAS A DRUG ADDICT Leroy Street David Loth 1954 Pyramid vtg pb
ebay image$20.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 16:55:29 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

LOT 100 COPIES The Carbohydrate Addict's Lifespan Program Carb Addicts WT39409
ebay image$199.99
End Date: Sunday Mar-4-2012 15:07:42 PST
Buy It Now for only: $199.99
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Addict Nation: An Intervention for America by Sandra Mohr and Jane...
ebay image$4.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 19:06:52 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

A Pound of Paper: Confessions of a Book Addict, John Ba
ebay image$5.81
End Date: Friday Mar-9-2012 1:32:22 PST
Buy It Now for only: $5.81
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Help, I Love a Video Game Addict - Mirage Love Counseling Gaming Habit Addiction
ebay image$0.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Sunday Feb-12-2012 20:28:49 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Become an Energy Addict: Simple, Powerful Ways to Energize Your Life by Jon...
ebay image$2.50 (0 Bids)
End Date: Monday Feb-13-2012 10:05:15 PST
Buy It Now for only: $5.99
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

LOT 500 COPIES The Carbohydrate Addict's Lifespan Program Carb Addicts WT39409
ebay image$800.00
End Date: Sunday Mar-4-2012 15:08:24 PST
Buy It Now for only: $800.00
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

WHERE HAVE I BEEN? by Sid Caesar /COMEDIAN / ADDICT/1st
ebay image$14.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Monday Feb-13-2012 10:53:21 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

Your Last Diet!: The Sugar Addict's Weight-Loss Plan, K
ebay image$4.75
End Date: Friday Mar-2-2012 11:26:22 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.75
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

Pill Head: The Secret Life of a Painkiller Addict by Joshua Lyon (2010,...
ebay image$1.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Monday Feb-13-2012 12:33:12 PST
Bid now | Add to watch list

The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet: The Lifelong Solution to Yo-Yo Dieting by...
ebay image$2.00 (0 Bids)
End Date: Monday Feb-13-2012 15:41:40 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

SECRETS OF A SHOE ADDICT Beth Harbison (2008 HARDCOVER) HC *Large Print* UNREAD!
ebay image$27.95
End Date: Tuesday Feb-14-2012 19:56:06 PST
Buy It Now for only: $27.95
Buy It Now | Add to watch list

SECRETS OF A SHOE ADDICT, Beth Harbison, MINT hbwdj!
ebay image$1.99 (0 Bids)
End Date: Monday Feb-13-2012 16:08:28 PST
Buy It Now for only: $4.00
Buy It Now | Bid now | Add to watch list

Home Business Plan

Peel Away Ads Marketing And Advertising without Pop-Ups, Fly-Ins or Pop-Unders
home | Relationships site map | custom google search | Relationships articles | Privacy policy
Copyright © 2009 www.dovada.net.au